Self-esteem can be seen as the combination of how you perceive yourself and the value you place on the self you see.
You have core self-esteem which is the value you place on yourself at your core, and situational self-esteem which is the value you place on yourself determined by situational factors (work situation at the moment, weight at the moment).
Certain researchers say that core self-esteem is in place by age 4 and is determined by how your caregivers responded to you. No matter what, it is exciting to know that your core self-esteem can be improved. How?
If you suffer from any thoughts of being a victim, expand your awareness so that you are able to decide that victim consciousness or self-blame is simply toxic now. Let it go.
Make a nonjudgmental inventory of your talents and strengths and set goals for accepting them and continuing to improve yourself.
Stop neglecting your own needs to take care of others. Be compassionate and loving, but not disrespecting of yourself.
Do your very best at any given moment (it will vary depending upon what your circumstances are).
Remember that positive self-esteem is not created by “all or none” thinking. Allow yourself to risk-take and realize that even seeming “mistakes” can help you grow!
Let go of the cultural standards of beauty and FEEL your beauty from WITHIN. Offer that as a gift to yourself and everyone around you. People are drawn to others who feel good about themselves.
Learn to speak about yourself with directness and honesty. Express your integrity through the harmony of what you say and do.
Above all, celebrate your risk-taking and your successes!
I’ve had many roles in this life, but one that I enjoyed very much was the teaching of literature which I did for over 10 years. I always appreciated how literature can reflect well crafted slices of life. For example, in this quote from Shakespeare in All’s Well that Ends Well, the line reads: “The web of our own life is of mingled yarn. . . .”
I’ve always loved these words because they give me a visual image that is comforting about our lives. I do see my life as a tapestry—-and this tapestry at times can seem full of loose threads and knotted yarn. I sometimes reflect on how one painful or joyful thing is contributing to the bigger picture.
All of us experience challenges that may at times seem overwhelming, and I think we all wonder at times, how can I possibly overcome the circumstances I am finding myself in?
But we do overcome. And we find along the way that the greatest challenges almost always lead to the greatest growth. Or I like to say, the stumbling blocks on our path can become the stepping stones.
So if we go back to this tapestry we are weaving that we call our lives, we can hope that at the end of our lives, when we turn our life’s work of art over, we will witness a picture that is perfectly what it needed to be.
The knotted yarn, the loose threads–all of it had a purpose,
and in fact, in the end, without the presence of these seeming imperfections, the picture would not be as clear or as perfect as it ends up being.
So, you see from this point of view, we also understand that everything in our lives is happening with some sort of purpose—-all of it—-so that we may grow and learn, and create our world’s meaning.
Now, I am in no way suggesting that life is predestined, but rather that through the choices you make throughout your life, you are discovering not only your world, but also yourself.
I’m so excited about my April 4th, 2019, presentation at Sentara VB General Hospital! I will share Harvard Medical School concepts as well as material from my training and 21 years as a holistic practitioner and life coach to help you create more happiness, peace and resilience!
Lecture and Discussion Includes:
What power does your mind have?
How do you deal with negative thoughts?
Why is it important to let go of what others think?
How does the way you start your day affect your life?
How can you create more happiness in your life?
How does focus on discontentment keep you there?
How do you free yourself of toxic thinking (negative loop tapes in your mind)?
What three important things do people need for a meaningful life?
The seminar includes handouts, food and drink, and opportunity to win a door prize!
Sponsored by Deepak Talreja, MD, Cardiovascular Associates.
This two-hour seminar will guide you through powerful principles to help heal your heart! I will help you contribute to your own excellent heart health by understanding:
how we often set hopeful intentions but find that our enthusiasm wanes as we fall into old patterns of thinking and feeling;
how you can apply tools for transforming painful emotions, such as sadness and loss, into happiness and health;
how to change your responses to unpleasant thoughts and learn what triggers your moods.
And so much more!
Sponsored by Deepak Talreja, MD, Cardiovascular Associates!
Your thoughts create your reality. One of the major problems with unconscious fear is that the brain can be in a state of constant anticipation of negative things. We then focus our attention to look for ways to validate these fears. From an evolutionary perspective, this act was meant to protect us. Fear is the gatekeeper of our comfort zone.
In modern times, these primitive fears keep us bound and are no longer helpful. What is helpful is to begin to think and respond differently, to hold a positive outlook.
The Benefits of Optimism:
Research shows that optimism leads people to better overall health.
Optimistic people are generally “luckier,” more successful, and regarded as more appealing.
Based on the Law of Attraction (Like attracts like), by being optimistic, you will draw positive outcomes to yourself.
Studies have shown that imagining positive outcomes releases fear.
The more optimistic you are, the more you create a pattern of response that perpetuates your positive feelings.
Here are some steps to bringing about more positive thinking:
Recognize what is NOT happening in your life that you would like to have happen.
Identify what you CAN do to make it happen and focus on that.
Fear and optimism cannot occupy the same space, so the more optimistic you can be and feel, the less fear you experience.
Focus on one thing that makes you happy, that you are grateful for, and bring this into your mind whenever you experience a fearful thought.
You may be surprised that small steps toward optimism can bring about big changes.
Is there a personal pattern of behavior or a negative attribute that you desire to change? Here is a “letting go” ritual that may help you to facilitate the release and the change.
Take some time to engage in a writing activity. Begin by writing down on a sheet of paper what you want to change. Really take some time with this. If you are so inclined, use special ink that helps you to feel creative and connected to the paper.
Next, on another piece of paper, write down what letting go of the behavior or attribute would look like. How will you look, feel, and interact with others after you have released this behavior? Be specific. What will your “new self” look like?
Now, take both papers and plan a brief excursion. It may be a simple walk to a favorite place in nature, or it may be a one-hour drive to a special area. On the way there, allow yourself to really focus on how the negative behavior has limited you. Allow yourself to feel the pain and/or fear that is associated with it. Likewise, if the “curse” has also been a blessing, honor that.
When you arrive at your destination, get comfortable. Take out the two pieces of paper. First read the paper that lists the behaviors or attributes you wish to release and feel the words in your heart. Take your time with this. Now tear the paper into small parts, and then either burn it or wet it so that you witness the transformation of the paper and the words. Feel in your heart the releasing energetically of the old.
Next look at the paper that reflects what you want to bring into your life. With determination and conscious intent, sign this sheet as a commitment to change and place it carefully in an envelope that you will keep in a special place.
On your return ride home, feel the lightness of your changed self.
Self-esteem can be seen as the combination of how you perceive yourself and the value you place on the self you see.