When we are overwhelmed, it is difficult in that moment not to get caught in the minutia of life. Whatever is going on seems to BECOME our life–the whole of it. Our emotional response can be out of proportion to the events that are occurring.
It is important to be able to step back at any given time and take a “sacred view” of what is going on.
You can ask yourself:
From a larger perspective, how does this problem or issue factor in to my whole life?
Are my feelings and response to this situation appropriate given the meaning of the situation in regard to my life?
How can I be “in this world but not of it”–in other words, participate in it but not be caught in the drama?
Will I remember this on my deathbed?
When you are caught in a dramatic or fearful moment, take a breath, and remember to hold “a sacred view”! It will make those difficult times far easier.
Are you frequently engaged in a quest for your car keys? Do you fight with your closet to find what to wear? Is stress your daily companion?
An organized life will allow you to have less chaos, more time, and even better mental health!
Why do we become disorganized? First, the creation of physical chaos is a result that originates with your very thoughts. When you are distracted or overly committed, you are less likely to create or have order. You can clear your mind first or clear your clutter. If you are in doubt, start with clearing your closet! It’s amazing what that simple act can do to calm your mind and your life. And that’s just the beginning. . . .
While you may be attached to your clothes (even those you haven’t worn or those that don’t fit any longer), please know that weight and stuff are simply barriers against a world we think is threatening. When you shed the excess you reconnect with your life.
Here are some simple steps to get started:
Step 1: Choose one clothes closet and take everything out of it. If the closet is a walk-in or large, you can do this in stages.
Step 2: Decide the best and most efficient way to hang or store items (this may require some shelves or added pole).
Step 3: When you are set, add each item back one at a time after you have decided that you will KEEP it. In other words, if it doesn’t fit, isn’t the right color, you have two of them, etc., you need to let it go! There are wonderful charities longing for that piece.
Step 4: Decide on ONE type of hanger. Avoid thin wire hangers that are harder to line up or that get tangled with each other. Choose the same plastic style, preferably a thinner type to maximize space.
Step 5: Hang all blouses, all pants, all dresses, all suits—in the same section. This will help you figure out what you really do have, make it easier to find a particular item, and help you maintain order.
Step 6: Make sure that all items are placed facing the same direction. It’s easier to see the front of an item.
Step 7: Hang all colors together in sections if you prefer that method. It’s easier to color coordinate what you are wearing.
Step 8: Shoes and purses can be lined up in order on shelves by color.
Finally, if the closet is large enough or there is any wall space at all that is visible, hang a small framed reminder, like “I am beautiful!” (you and the closet).
The first principle of mental fitness is to value yourself. This does not depend upon your achievements, but rather to extend to yourself “unconditional positive regard.” You’re not being asked to be perfect or never to have done anything wrong. You simply allow yourself to feel good about yourself.
What robs you of your joy?
You may fall into a trap of serving other people’s needs at the expense of your own.
You waste time on problems or issues that cannot be solved.
You get into “moods” in which you focus on what you do NOT have or how difficult changing your life would be.
You worry about “what if’s.”
You allow other people to affect you negatively in part because you may seek their approval.
So how do you bring more joy into your life?
Joyful people report that they use strategies that enable them to navigate life with a positive attitude. Through experience, they have come to the realization that opportunities as well as emotions cycle through ups and downs. During hard times this awareness gives them the faith that “this too shall pass.” Because they recognize the preciousness of the good times, rarely do they lament about the past. Instead, they focus on moving through life with a sense of wonder and joy.
Holiday Season is here and with families gathering over the holidays, even the most “healthy” families can have difficulty trying to balance getting along with each other and not feeling stressed by expectations.
A few suggestions may go a long way in helping you create a happy holiday:
Don’t strive to be perfect or have a “perfect” holiday. While you can plan and prepare that special dinner and event, allow things to flow and don’t worry so much about controlling outcomes. Not everyone is going to live up to your expectations (probably not even yourself), so let go of those expectations for perfection. Remember “all is well” in the greater scheme of life.
Reach out to others. If you feel lonely or isolated, seek out people and events that can support you. Or volunteer to help someone else or an organization. This can be a good way to lift your own spirit while you are helpful to another.
Practice healthy boundaries. Be sure you are saying “yes” to what you really want to do. Many requests can come during a holiday, so be selective and don’t overload yourself and your schedule. Commit to what you know makes sense and keep those commitments.
Manage your time. Keep a notepad in a designated place to schedule errands, items needed, etc. This will be the “go to place” for new thoughts and ideas that come up.
Don’t abandon healthy habits. Be sure you are taking good care of yourself, whether it’s continuing to exercise, meditate for 10 minutes a day, or whatever helps you stay grounded. Even though many more delectable delights are available, you can still eat in moderation or make a different choice one day over another. Let go of guilt and know that you may eat a little more home-made sweets if that is your tradition. You will get back on track through intention.
Allow yourself to trust your feelings. If something has occurred (loss of a loved one, divorce, illness) that has made you sad, it is normal to feel and to express your feelings. You can’t make yourself happy just because it’s the”season to be jolly.”
Be love. I like to think of the holidays as a special time to be kind and loving to all people you meet on your path, whether it’s the person at the grocery store in front of you in the long line, or the one who takes the last item you really wanted in the bin at the department store. Know that “things” are just things and that how you are being is what counts in the greater scheme of life.
When we are overwhelmed, it is difficult in that moment not to get caught in the minutia of life. Whatever is going on seems to BECOME our life–the whole of it. Our emotional response can be out of proportion to the events that are occurring.