Each of us carries from childhood a subconscious image in our minds that guides our selection of a partner. When we meet a person who fits this image, we experience a powerful romantic attraction. This process of choosing a partner can be problematic, however, because it is often based on a subconscious composite picture of our total experience (positive and negative) with our primary attachments–our mother and our father! As children, the imprint of our parents helps us to distinguish them from other adults so that we remain connected to them. These images remain with us into adulthood and often guide us to a partner similar to our parents with whom we re-connect to our past issues.
Our hidden desire is to get certain needs met by the partner that were not satisfied by our parents. However the partner, who has aspects of our parents, is likely to become a catalyst for some unresolved childhood issues rather than the nurturing source we had hoped (s)he would be. After an initial honeymoon period, we are likely to be confronted with the reality of our old issues! Still, the relationship represents a chance for both partners to heal their childhood issues by working them through to resolution with each other.
It is most important to create a conscious relationship with yourself and your partner and begin a time of growth and healing. We are called in the relationship to bring our adult awareness and learning to problems of love that we could not solve as children.
How do you weave your spiritual journey into your daily life? Every choice you make leads you toward or away from balance. Being mindful of what you do that affects your body, mind, and spirit is important, and acting on what you know is your key.
♥ Ask: Does this choice make my heart feel heavy or light? While some things we need to do in life feel like a necessary burden, often we take on activities and commitments or even fear-based thoughts that weigh us down. Allow your heart to be a barometer of how you are feeling. If something feels “heavy” on your heart, be willing to let it go or redirect your energy. What might you need to say “no” to that you might have been doing for some time?
♥ Ask: How committed am I to creating a positive change? While you may know exactly what you need to do—for example, you know you would feel better if you exercised three times each week—your knowledge is not enough unless you act on what you know. What kind of structure have you created? Have you set aside a schedule of committed hours to exercise? How disciplined are you? Did you know that the word “discipline” has at its root “disciple” which simply means “to grasp”? Create a structure, establish an accountability partner, and reward yourself (in a healthy way) for staying with your positive commitments.
♥ Ask: How inspired and grateful am I? Remember EVERY day to hold a moment of conscious intent. When you brush your teeth, take your vitamins, or perform some sort of routine activity, associate holding your daily conscious intent with that moment. Simply ask yourself: What do I wish to learn today or how do I wish to experience my life today? DECIDE to have a more satisfying day and you will. Be the witness to a bigger picture of your life and how this day is a significant and valuable experience in it. Be grateful for the opportunity to be alive and live fully today!
Are you a creature of habit and find that old behavioral patterns feel automatic and are hard to break? Next post: “How to ‘Practice the Pause’”
Each of us carries from childhood a subconscious image in our minds that guides our selection of a partner. When we meet a person who fits this image, we experience a powerful romantic attraction. This process of choosing a partner can be problematic, however, because it is often based on a subconscious composite picture of our total experience (positive and negative) with our primary attachments–our mother and our father! As children, the imprint of our parents helps us to distinguish them from other adults so that we remain connected to them. These images remain with us into adulthood and often guide us to a partner similar to our parents with whom we re-connect to our past issues.