Emotional honesty is critical in order to have healthy relationships with ourselves and others. We need to become aware of what healthy behavior and acceptable interactions look like.
A first step is to become emotionally honest with ourselves, to own our feelings, and to communicate in a direct and honest manner. Setting personal boundaries is a vital part of healthy relationships–which are not possible without effective communication. It is impossible to have a healthy relationship with someone who cannot communicate directly and honestly.
To get started, we must stop saying statements like: “You make me so angry.” “You hurt me.” “You make me crazy.” “How could you do that to me after all I have done for you?”
What does more effective language look like? We would state our feelings out loud and precede them with the words “I feel. . . .” “I feel concerned when our time together seems distant because. . . .” This allows us to own the feeling.
Whether the other person can hear and understand us is less important than the fact that we hear ourselves. It is so important that we own our own voice and speak up. In turn, we encourage the other person to do the same.
I invite all women to attend a heart gathering at my office in Norfolk, VA, on August 12 at 4:00 p.m. This event, held once each year, will help you learn more about the Leading from the Heart program–how it began and testimonials from women who have participated. Over 600 women have taken the program in the past 15 years and transformed their lives!
OPEN TO ALL WOMEN
August 12, 2012
4:00 p.m. (start time) to about 5:30 p.m.
Door Prizes, Great Food! RSVP: August 10 to maspenn@gmail.com–(Marva)
At Cynthia’s Office (see Contact link above)
Gift Certificate Give-Aways; Door Prizes; Incredible Food; Heart Fellowship–Priceless!
Wherever you landed on your family tree has affected you in countless ways. No greater influence exists during your growing up years than your family. Your parents as well as your siblings make such a powerful impact on you that this affects your forever.
The relationship dynamics of a family depend in large part on order of birth. Every time a child is born the family environment changes. How parents interact with each new family member affects not only that child, but also the other siblings.
Principles of birth order are not simplistic. For example, if you have two children in a family (a girl and a boy), each is considered a First Born since each is the first of that sex; however, the boy is also a Last Born. So the two dynamics are blended. If there is a gap in a family of 6 or more years, the first child of the second set is considered a blend of a First Born as well as a Middle Born.
Here are a few very interesting ideas about birth order characteristics of children based on research:
First Borns: Take charge (may be overbearing); command respect (may focus on goals rather than feelings); do things right (may criticize self and others); have things under control (may be less flexible); conscientious and strong-willed (sometimes stubborn).
Middle Borns: Often are mediators (want everyone to get along); act realistic (sometimes don’t expect as much of self or others); relationships important (may be too influenced by friends); feel invisible (may stay in background or be rebellious); get along well (may want peace at any price and so let others take advantage); can be trusted (may fail to admit when they need help).
Last Borns: Are likeable, fun, easy (may appear less disciplined); caring (can be gullible); humorous (may not be serious when need to be); relaxed (may not be focused); persistent (may see things only their way).
Only Child: Might be self-focused (didn’t have to compete with other children); trust self (may even be too independent in relationship); also often has characteristics of First Born (above).
Did you know the birth order of the following famous people?
First Borns: Bill Cosby, Harrison Ford, Jennifer Aniston, Angelina Jolie, Oprah Winfrey
Middle Borns: JFK, Princess Diana, Jennifer Lopez, Bill Gates
Last Borns: Whoopi Goldberg, Drew Carey, Jim Carrey, Steve Martin, Chevy Chase, Ellen DeGeneres, Jon Stewart.
Every birth order has inherent strengths and challenges, and no birth order is better than another. Of course, many variables contribute to one’s overall personality and success in life. Perhaps, simply knowing these ideas might allow a person to step back and take a different perspective on family dynamics.
You may have uttered the word “Om” during yoga or meditation, but do you know its history, significance and restorative powers?
The Sanskrit word “Om” is actually an intonation, which, like music, transcends age, race, and culture. It is probably the oldest chant known to humankind and believed to be the basic sound of the world and to contain all other sounds.
The word is made up of three Sanskrit letters “aa, au, and ma.” Combined together they make the sound “Aum” or “Om.” The correct pronunciation of “om” is a long “O” and a drawn-out sound of “M”–sounding like “Ohmmmm.”
If repeated with the correct intonation, it can resonate throughout the body so that the sound penetrates to the center of one’s being or soul. In fact, research has shown that chanting OM can alter brain waves from Beta to Delta (from a waking consciousness to a deep state of self-hypnosis).
We know that sound has a powerful effect on the mind and body and when combined with meditation can facilitate healing and spiritual growth.
What follows is a beautiful poem that someone sent to me in an e-mail. May it inspire you as it did me!
INTERVIEW WITH GOD. . .
I dreamed I had an interview with God.
“So, you would like to interview me?” God asked.
“If you have the time,” I said.
God smiled. “My time is eternity; what questions do you
have in mind to ask me?”
“What surprises you most about humankind?…”
GOD ANSWERED…
That by thinking anxiously about the future,
they forget the present, such that they live in
neither the present nor the future.
That they live as if they will never die, and they die as
if they had never lived…”
“That they get bored with childhood – they rush
to grow up and then long to be children again.
That they lose their health to make money and then lose
their money to restore their health.
God’s hands took mine and we were silent for a while
and then I asked…
“As a parent, what are some of life’s lessons you
want your children to learn?”
God replied with a smile:
“To learn that they cannot make anyone love them.
What they can do is to let themselves be loved.
To learn that what is most valuable is not what they have
in their lives, but who they have in their lives.
To learn that it is not good to compare themselves to others.
To learn that a rich person is not the one who has the
most, but is one who needs the least.
To learn that it only takes a few seconds to open
profound wounds in persons one loves, and that it may take many
years to heal them.
To learn to forgive by practicing forgiveness.
To learn that there are
persons who love them dearly,
but simply do not know
how to express or show their feelings.
To learn that two people can look at the same thing and
see it very differently.
To learn that it is not always enough that they be
forgiven by others, but that they must also forgive themselves.
And to learn that I am here — always.” (Author Unknown)
In 1910, Sonora Smart Dodd invented her own celebration of Father’s Day to honor her father who was a Civil War veteran—William Jackson Smart. He was a single parent who reared six children in Spokane, Washington, and his birthday was in June. His daughter Sonora felt he should be honored in a dedicated celebration.
In 1913, a bill to create national recognition of the holiday was introduced in Congress. In 1916, President Woodrow Wilson went to Spokane to speak in a Father’s Day celebration and wanted to make it an official holiday. Congress instead resisted the idea, feeling that the day would become commercialized.
President Calvin Coolidge recommended in 1924 that the day be nationally observed, but stopped short of creating a national proclamation.
Finally, Maine Senator Margaret Chase Smith wrote a proposal in 1957 suggesting that Congress was ignoring fathers for over 40 years while honoring mothers. (Mother’s Day was established in 1914.)
In 1966, President Lyndon B. Johnson issued the first presidential proclamation honoring fathers, designating the third Sunday in June as Father’s Day. Six years later, in 1972, President Richard Nixon signed the holiday into law, making it a permanent national holiday.
On this day, take a moment to reflect on your father figure and honor his spirit.
Emotional honesty is critical in order to have healthy relationships with ourselves and others. We need to become aware of what healthy behavior and acceptable interactions look like.
