Throughout the day, check in with your breathing. Is it shallow and tight? Are you tense, angry, anxious, or relaxed? If so, it is most likely reflected in your breathing. You might even be holding your breath as a way not to feel your emotions, particularly if they are negative.
Your breathing serves to connect you with yourself and others, so that not breathing fully can be an unconscious defense mechanism for disconnecting from emotions you’d rather not feel. Even though shallow breathing can lessen your ability to feel your emotions, it can also repress them so that you create a pressure cooker of emotions internally, creating dis-ease in the body.
To promote better health:
Check in with your breathing periodically throughout the day. Are you taking short, shallow breaths or is your breathing deep and relaxed?
Ask what is going on with you emotionally at that moment and how does your breathing reflect this?
If you realize that your breathing is shallow, take deeper breaths and check in with how you are feeling.
Are you able to expand the lower abdomen as you breathe in, opening the lower chakras with the breath?
With every inhalation, mentally reinforce that you are opening your body to a healthy flow of energy. The in-breath reflects the process of your own will–the taking in and connecting with life. The out-breath reflects the process of surrendering and letting go. The dance of your breathing will tell you much about your relationship to life.
Everyone, it’s time again for the annual Heart-to-Heart Event for women at my office in Norfolk, VA. This Heart Event is free and open to all women who are interested in learning more about the Leading from the Heart program for women. I will speak about the program, and women who have completed the program will be present to share their experiences. Please join us for delicious hors d’oeuvres, door prizes, and heart-felt sharing! If you are a Leading from the Heart Alumnae, come and share your story of taking the class or invite women whom you think may be interested in the Leading from the Heart program. This is the FIFTEENTH year and over 750 women have taken this life changing course!
Date: Sunday, August 11, 2013, 4:00 p.m.
Location: 2200 Colonial Avenue, Suite 17, Norfolk, VA 23517, U.S.A. (Cynthia’s Office)
The dictionary defines procrastination as “to put off intentionally the doing of something that should be done.”
Now everyone has procrastinated at some point or delayed taking action in a certain situation, but when procrastination becomes a real issue, it can seriously affect your performance and, in turn, all areas of your life.
Perhaps you miss opportunities because you delay taking action– or you receive late notices because you don’t pay your bills on time. Maybe you delay starting a work project until the deadline is immediate. Or you leave your gift shopping until the last minute.
Does any of this sound familiar?
Before we can look at a technique to change this behavior, it’s important to consider just a few reasons why you may procrastinate.
First, you may decide that tomorrow seems like a better day to get started– or if you can’t give something a lot of time (like the whole day), there’s no sense in getting started.
This is really a stalling response because you don’t feel like doing the activity.
People who might be termed “feel good” types—where feeling good or enjoying something is most important to them—are often procrastinators. They are looking for instant good feelings rather than a delayed gratification that comes from doing the task and not feeling good now at this moment– but feeling good later when the task is completed.
The trouble is that if you delay doing the task, if you’re a feel-good type, you probably won’t feel any more like doing it tomorrow than you did today.
Second, many procrastinators tell themselves that they work better under pressure. These people are often perfectionists. Did you know that perfectionism and procrastination go hand in hand?
You see, by waiting, you may be giving yourself permission to limit the amount of time you have to work on something and, therefore, giving yourself the excuse of accepting the end result based on not having enough time to make it perfect! You get yourself off the “it has to be perfect” hook. And you may even get a rush out of the last-minute push while settling for whatever the end product becomes.
And there’s still another type of procrastinator: Some people avoid doing the task because they are what I call “decision-impaired”—and by that I mean that they have difficulty making a decision because they’re concerned about making the wrong decision. Of course, they forget that not deciding or delaying too long can create a decision.
So, to end the procrastination game, you have to understand that you’re probably getting some kind of pay-off from that behavior, like those we’ve mentioned, or you would be unlikely to continue to procrastinate.
You see, if you’re trying to change a behavior, but you ultimately (consciously or subconsciously) gain more from staying the same than from changing, you will find it more difficult to change that behavior. So you have to decide what the pay-off is.
Once you realize that the pay-off, such as feeling good, settling for less than a perfect result, or avoiding making a decision, doesn’t really benefit you ultimately, you can change what you’re doing.
Here are just a few tips:
First– just get started. Take a step. Don’t get hung up on how. Don’t look at the clock and decide that you don’t have enough time. Break your task into manageable steps and, seriously, just get started.
Second—if you’re a feel-good type who avoids getting started, you have to realize that when you tell yourself that you’ll feel more like doing your task later, that you’re lying to yourself. You’re actually going to feel really good when you complete the task. That’s the real feel-good time. So remain focused, willing, and committed to your goal.
And some people plan a reward that they will receive after the completion of the task which motivates them to keep going.
Above all, focus on taking action and keep yourself moving. You can change your motivation and the quality of your daily life!
Often, we suffer because we have roamed so far from our true core that we don’t know who we are. We haven’t looked into our own vulnerable hearts. What do you need? What does your heart wish to tell you?
We may run from our inner awareness because we feel that if we actually gave attention to our hearts, we would be overwhelmed.
Our perceptions are what make our life sacred or monstrous. These perceptions create our point of view about who we are, who other people are, and about life itself. We engage in our life dramas every day and are partnered with other cast members to share life’s lessons. Our issues and fears cause us to protect our real needs and even to negotiate away our power.
We may respond to life by making adjustments that cause us to cut off essential parts of ourselves to stay present with people and situations. We may deny our emotions because we’re afraid our partner will leave us. We may do work that does not inspire us because it keeps us feeling secure.
We decide how we think the world is and create a list of judgments about ourselves and others. The items on our list feel very real even though we don’t always check out the validity of them. We assume that we have to accept something because “that’s the way it is or it has always been that way.”
Here’s the key: Your freedom lies in challenging your beliefs, in removing any mask that keeps you from being your real “you,” and in waking up from the trance you have been living in.
Do you long to bring greater balance and meaning into your life?
For more than thirty years, I’ve coached thousands of people internationally. And over the years, I’ve found that it really didn’t matter whether my audience consisted of corporate executives, homemakers, physicians, artists—whatever the occupation—people said the same thing. Their lives were overloaded with work and personal responsibilities and they were just playing catch up every day.
Some people felt that their lives were an exhausting effort to maintain safety and security.
And they tried to make the “right” choices so that they could be in control of their days, only to find that control is just an illusion. The reality is that we’re never really “in control” of anything.
You see, no matter how hard they worked at it, how many measures they put in place, how many times they second guessed what might happen, they found they couldn’t really control what was happening in their world.
They worked in part to have health insurance and found that their work itself affected the very quality of their health.
So, really, what I’ve found in my coaching is that most people are looking for some kind of inspiration and understanding that will lead them to create a more meaningful, balanced life.
I’d like to share a true personal story which I’ve referred to over the years as the “Hamster on the Wheel” story! When my children were young, they were staying overnight at my parents’ house. They had a pet hamster that they loved and fed every day, and there was a little wheel in the cage for the hamster to exercise on.
On this fateful Saturday morning, the kids were gone, I woke up, and lo and behold, our poor little hamster, who was only 2 weeks old, had died.
I called the pet shop, and told them what had happened, and they said reassuringly: “Oh, I’m so sorry. But that happens. Sometimes the hamster forgets to get off the wheel, keeps going without stopping, and has a heart attack. Just bring it in and we’ll give you another one.”
Now—you could not have given me a better analogy for my life at that time. Because I was the proverbial hamster on the wheel. I was working fifty-hour weeks, writing a book, parenting my children, and generally just trying to survive my life.
And we all do this: We get on the wheel of life, move rapidly, and sometimes forget to get off and rest, or forget to decide what’s important and what’s not. We burn ourselves out.
So how do we course correct, gain greater understanding, and change our lives into something worth living?
Here are a few tips:
First, pay attention to what you’re saying YES and NO to. If your heart’s not in it, you’re not either. I’ve certainly found that out.
Second, take a break and gain a little perspective. Fast forward to your 80th birthday. Imagine that you can look back over your life at that point. What would you have wished was your life?
Third, does your life reflect the best version of you? Is what you’re doing, your greatest contribution? You see it doesn’t matter whether you’re president of your company or doing a job of manual labor, you have to ask yourself: Is your heart in it and are you doing it well? Is it a contribution that you’re proud of?
And while each of us didn’t come into this world to be Moses, Gandhi, or some great figure, we did come in to be the best versionof ourselves.
So, our freedom lies in going backstage in this Life play, challenging the thought that our dramas are pre-recorded, having the courage to challenge our thinking and to rewrite our scripts, and in general, through these new thoughts and more consciously intended actions– to bring new and better experiences into our lives.
Reiki (pronounced “ray-key”) is a Japanese word meaning “universal life force energy.” Reiki is a Japanese system of natural healing that involves the practitioner channeling energy through the palms of the hands as they are applied on the client to promote balance and improved health of body, mind, and spirit.
Reiki practitioners, who are trained in the specific 12 hand positions and method of delivery that are used in the treatment, also have received energetic attunements that have helped to clear their own energy systems so that they are able to be channels for the Reiki energy to flow through them.
Treatment is totally safe and non-invasive with no physical manipulation involved. It is an excellent adjunct to traditional treatment methods, particularly in the case of treating cancer, tumors, and chronic disease and anxiety. Reiki treats a person’s system in all areas:
Mental: by easing stress and anxiety.
Emotional: by promoting relaxation and calm.
Physical: by relieving aches, pains, and symptoms of illness.
Spiritual: by promoting peace and balance.
Reiki can also be used effectively on animals and plants!
I have the pleasure of teaching Reiki and Mind/Body methods in Japan as well as in the United States. Many hospitals now incorporate Reiki in their repertoire of alternative methods available to patients. If you google “Reiki research validity,” you may be surprised to find how much research supports the use of Reiki for healing!
IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN ATTENDING A REIKI Level One WORKSHOP THAT WILL BE HELD IN NORFOLK, VA, AT MY OFFICE on May 30, Thursday, 8:30-3:30–please contact me (Cynthia Bischoff) immediately via e-mail at heartliving@cox.net. Maximum enrollment is 10 people and currently there are two open positions. More information will be provided to those interested.
Throughout the day, check in with your breathing. Is it shallow and tight? Are you tense, angry, anxious, or relaxed? If so, it is most likely reflected in your breathing. You might even be holding your breath as a way not to feel your emotions, particularly if they are negative.