During the holidays especially, we often become nostalgic over traditions we may have held with our families and friends. One dear memory year round, but especially at Christmas, is one I hold of my grandmother. I keep her picture on a shelf in my office next to a little gold-etched crystal tree. I keep the tree next to her picture year-round!
Is there a relative or friend you hold dear to your heart, particularly for the inspiration you gained from them? That would be my grandmother for me.
My grandmother was very independent and strong-willed. She lived in her two-story home on the water until she passed at 97. She and my Grandfather built that home. She had 12 children, my mother being the youngest, and 3 passed under the age of three. I often thought of how tragic it must have been to have lost those three babies, yet when I asked my grandmother, she would say, in the way that people of her age back then did: “I was sad, but I could rejoice knowing that they were God’s angels after they left us. I knew God must have needed them or He wouldn’t have taken them.” In addition to her abiding faith and belief that everything happens for the best reason possible, Grandma taught me so much. She had a certain strength, acceptance of life, ability to comfort, and joy of living that will stay with me forever.
I spent many evenings during the summers with her growing up. We would listen to 78 rpm’s before 33’s became available. She loved all types of music. She gave me money to buy her a Beatles album when they were popular! We would sit together in that rocking chair in the picture I have of her here and rock as we sang together. Each evening she’d say, “Honey child, let’s have us a little party.” Just Grandma and me. That was my cue to get out the ginger snaps, pour myself a coke, and Grandma would have a shot of whiskey most evenings. This, she said, relaxed her body and made her sleep well. I don’t doubt it did!
Her kitchen had a linoleum floor and a gas stove that always smelled of a certain grease, usually because she’d made a cherry turnover or fried up some bacon. She loved to cook, and because I was thin, at the beginning of the summer, she’d say “Let’s try to fatten you up this summer. Just a little.” That was her way of saying, I’m going to cook everything I love for you and me!
So why the tree? Well, my grandmother LOVED Christmas more than just about anything. She always had a real tree in her parlor. Her parlor had large velvet furniture with U.S. Navy pillows (my Uncle had given them to her when he was in the Navy years before), and old heavy pictures hanging on the walls. It was a dark room before you turned on the lamp, and it had a fake fireplace and, at Christmas, her tree. One year, in her nineties, she had her picture in the paper because she decided to leave her trip up ALL year. A live tree that she kept watering that I’m sure was as dry as stone. But she LOVED to look at it, the ornaments, the lights, and so–she left it up all year. Someone must have notified the paper knowing it was a story. Grandma, herself, was a story.
So my picture of Grandma in her chair and this little eternal tree stay on my shelf in my office and in my heart all year! I am always in awe of the people who touch our hearts so deeply. Grandma, thanks so much for the inspiration you gave me as a child and continue to give me in my sweet memory of you.
This year at Christmas I will be in Chicago visiting my son, daughter-in-law, and my sweet grandson Zachary who was born on October 30 this year. It will be our first Christmas together. I am now Grandma! How did those years go so quickly?
Zachary, I look forward to traditions we may have together and can only hope to be an inspiration for you someday. You already are one for me!
The holidays are a wonderful time to celebrate and to connect with family and friends. Yet this is also a time when your balance of body, mind, and spirit can be greatly affected because of changes in routine, extra duties, and feelings triggered by old memories.
Here are a few suggestions toward keeping your life together this holiday season:
Make a list to stay organized. Write down things you’d like to accomplish and then create a prioritized approach. Would you like to give neighbors homemade baked gingerbread? Of course you would. Is there really time to do this in your schedule this year? Just be sure you have enough time or are simply realistic in regard to your energy as well.
Ask for assistance. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by certain tasks that have to be performed, be sure to ask others to pitch in. For example, holiday meals can be pot luck. Young children can help by doing activities that are easier, like dusting, vacuuming, or helping with a pet. You can ask a neighborhood teen babysitter to take your kids to a matinee so that you can complete certain holiday preparations.
It doesn’t have to be perfect. De-emphasize the idea that everything has to be perfect! Set realistic expectations for yourself. We are bombarded by magazine images showing gorgeous decorations and incredible meals. Remind yourself that a staff of people both designed and prepared those glossy stories! Sometimes “more is less” and simple ideas can be very heart-felt, even more heart-felt than elaborate ideas.
Stay connected with others for support. Take a break from your holiday routine by meeting up with or calling a friend to chat briefly. Letting out your feelings to a supportive friend can greatly help you relieve holiday stress and anxiety. This can be great for both of you. Also, if you are feeling lonely or suspect that you will be, set up a way to stay connected and supported.
Do what you need to do to restore yourself. Don’t leave off your list a healthy walk or simple exercise or a nice healthy meal. Even a moment or two of quiet can be helpful–listen to a meditation tape or a favorite CD, practice yoga poses, or take a relaxing bath.
Hold a witness perspective if an issue arises. It helps if I remind myself that the things I was concerned about last year, the year before, or the years before that (!), I no longer remember. Most often we don’t. Do you? So take a deep breath, fast-forward to your 85th birthday, and ask yourself, “Will I even remember this issue then?” Probably not. So enjoy the good things and let go of the rest!
Have a wonderful holiday and a new year of blessings. With love and gratitude, Cynthia
The belief that God sends a spirit to watch over every individual was common in ancient Greek philosophy. In the Middle Ages it was believed that the heavens and the stars and all of the cosmos were alive, full of angels and God. In numerous faiths, angels are mentioned. The word “angel” is derived from the Latin “angelus” and the Greek “angelos” meaning “one going” or “one sent,” also “messenger.”
Since the beginning of time, angels have delivered God’s messages to humankind. From a spiritual, academic standpoint, angelic messages were primarily intended to provide:
warnings of impending danger
instructions as to what to do in a particular situation
information that angels are there to protect
joyful announcements.
In metaphysics, angels are said to have great power and long to be made use of, desiring us to call on them to request assistance. So in addition to requesting assistance from the angels, how might we know signs from them?
Signs that the angels are drawing close or making contact are said to include:
unexpected, intuitive knowledge that comes to you
an instant feeling of well being or love
a warmth in your heart
a movement of energy like a “breeze of light”
a fragrance in the air like a presence
soft strands of music that may linger as if floating in the distance
a movement of material or physical matter (something is missing and then found)
appearance in the clouds of an image
the sound of birdsong
a dream in which an important feeling or message is given.
According to those who study angelic phenomenon and history, the most angelic signature of an angel, however, is the white feather!
While a healthy diet and adequate rest are beneficial in building your immune system, a number of natural ingredients can help you prevent or heal a cold should you get one. I learned these ideas in trainings I have taken in healing and health. Here are a few tips:
Get plenty of zinc in your diet (most often found in whole grains).
Pack your meals with foods that are rich in Vitamin C (for example, citrus fruits and vegetables).
Remember that caffeine is dehydrating, so if you are losing body fluids as a result of a cold, choose herbal, caffeine-free teas.
Drink fresh fruit juices. Grapefruit, orange, and lemon juices are antiseptic and cleansing.
Eat soups, and drink plenty of water to keep hydrated.
Inhaling the smell of eucalyptus can soothe your respiratory system.
Adding garlic to your diet increases antibacterial action and builds your immune system to fight infection.
Honey can relieve sore throats and coughs.
Ginger made into tea is considered both an antiseptic and expectorant.
Echinacea and olive leaf can strengthen the immune system and shorten the bout of flu or cold.
Remember if at all possible to reduce your stress and to get enough sleep since it boosts your immune systems and allows you time to heal.
The world abounds with symbols. Some are universal and others unique to certain cultures. Symbols are profound expressions of our intellect, emotions, and spirit. A symbol can represent deep intuitive wisdom that eludes direct expression, and symbols can be found in our dreams certainly, but also in our waking state. It is helpful to observe the symbols in your life in your waking day, allowing the universe to speak to you through its symbolic language.
Throughout the centuries, symbols in their infinite forms have enriched people’s lives. Cultures in all parts of the world have built upon a universal understanding of symbols to better understand well-being of mind, body, and spirit. Often in deep spiritual work, we are asked to identify and focus on symbols that appear in our dreams and in our waking lives. These symbols may, for example, appear in our drawings and over time become highly personalized, take on deeper levels of meaning, and come to help us express aspects of the psyche that may be difficult to put into words.
We find symbols in our daily life and in our dreams. Here are some common examples defined:
Did you know?
THE RIVER
Seen as a life-source, rivers carry potent meanings. They can represent the boundaries between life and death. In Hindu belief, rivers symbolize purification.
ICE AND SNOW
Ice symbolizes coldness, rigidity, and stillness, both in humans and in nature. Therefore, snow as a form of “softer” ice often expresses the return of life. Snow can stand for truth and individuality.
MOUNTAIN
The meeting place of heaven and earth, the mountain symbolizes eternity and our ascent on our life’s journey.
FIRE
Symbolizing passion and energy, fire can represent deep emotion, such as love, or alchemical transformation.
TREE
Wholeness, harmony, and family are reflected in the tree image.
CAVE
When a cave is found in a dream state, it may mean that this is a time of initiation, truth, wisdom, or readiness for going deeper.
DOORWAY or WINDOW
Is the door or window open or closed? Doorways and windows symbolize opportunity, opening, luck, and progress. Have you heard the phrase–“a window of opportunity” or “the door to success”?
Pay attention to the symbols that occur in your dream state and also in your daily life. Record patterns, spend some time journaling, and meditate on their significance as messengers in your life right now!
Many books are written about relationships–how to attract the right partner, how to keep your partner, how to communicate with your partner, why your partner is not that into you, and so on! The truth is that relationships can be complex and do require some attention if two people are to grow together into more intimate union and love.
Most often, instead of understanding relationship dynamics, people think that if they can just change this or that about their partners, their relationships would finally work. Does this sound familiar? We must know that no one is perfect nor to be blamed and following some common-sense guidelines can help you to improve your relationship. They are based on effective principles of communication and should be practiced by both partners:
For starters, don’t expect your partner to satisfy all of your relationship needs. Take good care of yourself. Maintain healthy friendships outside of your primary relationship, and you will be less apt to feel that you need your partner to “complete” you.
Be sure to maintain a friendship as well as a love relationship with your partner. Most couples who stay together do so because of a sense of friendship and respect that exists long after the romantic sparks might not be as bright. Partners who are friends generally like and accept each other as they genuinely are.
It’s important to practice active listening. Sometimes all your partner wants you to do is just listen. So listen carefully; then paraphrase back to your partner what you believe you heard him or her say. It greatly helps to keep all communication clear.
Know that talking over each other or not acknowledging what we’ve heard causes monologues rather than dialogues. And when you do listen and especially when you pick up what matters to your partner, you can ask about it at another time, making your partner know you did listen and that you care.
Know what you do want and communicate that clearly. We sometimes get stuck in repeating what we don’t want or like and don’t communicate clearly what we do want. Instead of “it bothers me when you say that” try “I appreciate that you shared that with me in that way.”
Avoid arguments as a way of getting attention or engaging in drama. Find a more productive way to be in relationship and avoid taking your frustrations out on your partner. If your partner is doing that with you, have a conversation about how you feel–in a constructive way.
If you must disagree, do what is termed “fight fairly.” The language we use during a conflict has a critical effect on our relationships. Calling each other names and blaming each other will dissolve trust and respect faster than anything else. And if this has already happened, you can commit to starting over now. Remember “up until now”!
Commit to change. Know that a healthy relationship is one that continues to evolve. Establish regular conversations with your partner to be sure important issues are being addressed and understood.
Most of all, soften your heart. Sometimes, you have to rise above the current situation and look at the overall picture of your relationship. How long have you been together? What have you been through? In what ways have you shared your lives and supported one another? What might you do differently now? Of all the tips, perhaps this is most important of all!
You can also set aside one “date” each week with your partner in which you don’t talk about the children (if there are kids), you don’t talk about work or about money, the house, etc., but you talk about each other. I have suggested this to clients who have done this. I remember a client telling me that she and her husband looked at each other and had nothing to say at first on that “first date.” The good news is that they stayed committed, though, to that date each week. By the second week, they started talking about what mattered to them, sharing some of their hopes and dreams as well as fears. –Or as she put it, “getting down to some deep inner stuff.” Over time, it greatly improved their connection.
All in all, we came into this world to learn to love and to know that we are love. Nothing is perhaps more powerful than heart connections.
During the holidays especially, we often become nostalgic over traditions we may have held with our families and friends. One dear memory year round, but especially at Christmas, is one I hold of my grandmother. I keep her picture on a shelf in my office next to a little gold-etched crystal tree. I keep the tree next to her picture year-round!