Are you frequently engaged in a quest for your car keys? Do you fight with your closet to find what to wear? Is stress your daily companion?
An organized life will allow you to have less chaos, more time, and even better mental health!
Why do we become disorganized? First, the creation of physical chaos is a result that originates with your very thoughts. When you are distracted or overly committed, you are less likely to create or have order. You can clear your mind first or clear your clutter. If you are in doubt, start with clearing your closet! It’s amazing what that simple act can do to calm your mind and your life. And that’s just the beginning. . . .
While you may be attached to your clothes (even those you haven’t worn or those that don’t fit any longer), please know that weight and stuff are simply barriers against a world we think is threatening. When you shed the excess you reconnect with your life.
Here are some simple steps to get started:
Step 1: Choose one clothes closet and take everything out of it. If the closet is a walk-in or large, you can do this in stages.
Step 2: Decide the best and most efficient way to hang or store items (this may require some shelves or added pole).
Step 3: When you are set, add each item back one at a time after you have decided that you will KEEP it. In other words, if it doesn’t fit, isn’t the right color, you have two of them, etc., you need to let it go! There are wonderful charities longing for that piece.
Step 4: Decide on ONE type of hanger. Avoid thin wire hangers that are harder to line up or that get tangled with each other. Choose the same plastic style, preferably a thinner type to maximize space.
Step 5: Hang all blouses, all pants, all dresses, all suits—in the same section. This will help you figure out what you really do have, make it easier to find a particular item, and help you maintain order.
Step 6: Make sure that all items are placed facing the same direction. It’s easier to see the front of an item.
Step 7: Hang all colors together in sections if you prefer that method. It’s easier to color coordinate what you are wearing.
Step 8: Shoes and purses can be lined up in order on shelves by color.
Finally, if the closet is large enough or there is any wall space at all that is visible, hang a small framed reminder, like “I am beautiful!” (you and the closet).
I once heard a riddle that went something like this: “Five frogs sat on a log. One decided to jump. How many frogs were left?”
I remember thinking through what the logical answer would be (four) but knowing there must be some trick to this. Actually, there wasn’t a trick but instead a revelation.
The answer to the riddle is: Five. There’s a difference between deciding to jump and actually jumping.
Now this leads me to an important point: Power exists in taking action. While it is important to think, plan, and strategize, it is equally important to ACT.
What have you been thinking about for a long time, may even be convinced should happen, but haven’t taken action on? Decide today to do one thing that requires necessary action . . . and move forward!
Emotional honesty is critical in order to have healthy relationships with ourselves and others. We need to become aware of what healthy behavior and acceptable interactions look like.
A first step is to become emotionally honest with ourselves, to own our feelings, and to communicate in a direct and honest manner. Setting personal boundaries is a vital part of healthy relationships–which are not possible without effective communication. It is impossible to have a healthy relationship with someone who cannot communicate directly and honestly.
To get started, we must stop saying statements like: “You make me so angry.” “You hurt me.” “You make me crazy.” “How could you do that to me after all I have done for you?”
What does more effective language look like? We would state our feelings out loud and precede them with the words “I feel. . . .” “I feel concerned when our time together seems distant because. . . .” This allows us to own the feeling.
Whether the other person can hear and understand us is less important than the fact that we hear ourselves. It is so important that we own our own voice and speak up. In turn, we encourage the other person to do the same.
Spiritual writers for centuries have talked about the power of positive thought, mentioning how our thoughts create our reality. A few have talked about the power of the thoughts you hold BEFORE falling asleep each evening, asserting that these thoughts are perhaps the most powerful. Why?
As you sleep, you enter into your subconscious and unconscious levels of the mind. These are deeply connected to your psyche, influencing your body, your health, and your reality at large.
Edgar Cayce (1877-1945), remarkable renowned psychic and spiritual teacher, suggested that before bedtime, you should spend five to ten minutes imagining the body you wish to have–perfect weight, health, and vitality. Since this would be the last thing on your mind before bedtime, your thoughts would continue to influence your deeper layers of the mind in your sleep state and, in turn, help you to manifest your desires.
Dr. Wayne Dyer in his book Wishes Fulfilled (2012) states that sleep is a natural state for the subconscious mind and advises that the last five minutes of your day BEFORE you enter the sleep state are “the most important five minutes of your day” (p. 136). It is during this brief time that Dyer suggests you can do one of two things: (1) Review the day in regard to frustrations and disappointments or (2) Allow yourself to reflect on and feel what it would be like for your “dreams to come true”–in other words, for you to have the best circumstances.
Not too long ago, I had a difficult couple of days. Things had not turned out as I had hoped they would in regard to a specific plan. In fact, I felt betrayed by what felt like a “false presentation” of opportunity that had been presented to me.
The first night I tossed and turned and woke up feeling such loss. The day that followed felt dreary and it was hard to be positive as much as I was trying.
That second night, though, I thought about the power of the last five minutes. I took several deep breaths, bringing mindfulness to my body. Then I imagined the situation being “taken up” in a beautiful balloon and returned to the “heavens” to be transformed. I saw in my awareness a much larger picture than the exchange that had taken place on this Earth plane in which I had felt disappointed.
In contrast, I saw that it had all been a lesson for me and that in the greater scheme of my life, all was well. I then focused on the people involved and saw and felt a stream of light from my heart being sent to theirs. I wished them well on this journey. I honestly felt so much peace.
The next morning I woke up feeling so much better–energized, peaceful, and happy.
I share this story with you because I know the power of this simple technique, and I encourage you each night to use it as a spiritual tool. May it bring you greater peace!
Your attitude toward life reflects the way you interpret your world. Your experience is impacted not so much by what life brings you, but by the way your mind interprets what happens.
If you don’t like something that happens and you cannot change it, at least change the way you think about it!
Triggers that cause negative thinking:
Overgeneralizing: assuming that because it happened once, it will happen again.
Catastrophizing: predicting and expecting the worst outcome.
Mind-reading: believing that you know what others are thinking.
Exaggerating: giving negative events more importance than they deserve.
Personalizing: taking things very personally without evidence to support it.
Blaming yourself: accepting blame–“it’s all my fault.”
Extremes: using extremist words, like “always,” “never,” “nobody,” and so on.
People take you at your own estimation of yourself, so it is important that you behave “as if” you can do something well or that life is good. Remember that “like attracts like,” so if you put out negative thoughts, you are likely to attract more negativity to yourself. Be your own best advocate!
Wherever you landed on your family tree has affected you in countless ways. No greater influence exists during your growing up years than your family. Your parents as well as your siblings make such a powerful impact on you that this affects your forever.
The relationship dynamics of a family depend in large part on order of birth. Every time a child is born the family environment changes. How parents interact with each new family member affects not only that child, but also the other siblings.
Principles of birth order are not simplistic. For example, if you have two children in a family (a girl and a boy), each is considered a First Born since each is the first of that sex; however, the boy is also a Last Born. So the two dynamics are blended. If there is a gap in a family of 6 or more years, the first child of the second set is considered a blend of a First Born as well as a Middle Born.
Here are a few very interesting ideas about birth order characteristics of children based on research:
First Borns: Take charge (may be overbearing); command respect (may focus on goals rather than feelings); do things right (may criticize self and others); have things under control (may be less flexible); conscientious and strong-willed (sometimes stubborn).
Middle Borns: Often are mediators (want everyone to get along); act realistic (sometimes don’t expect as much of self or others); relationships important (may be too influenced by friends); feel invisible (may stay in background or be rebellious); get along well (may want peace at any price and so let others take advantage); can be trusted (may fail to admit when they need help).
Last Borns: Are likeable, fun, easy (may appear less disciplined); caring (can be gullible); humorous (may not be serious when need to be); relaxed (may not be focused); persistent (may see things only their way).
Only Child: Might be self-focused (didn’t have to compete with other children); trust self (may even be too independent in relationship); also often has characteristics of First Born (above).
Did you know the birth order of the following famous people?
First Borns: Bill Cosby, Harrison Ford, Jennifer Aniston, Angelina Jolie, Oprah Winfrey
Middle Borns: JFK, Princess Diana, Jennifer Lopez, Bill Gates
Last Borns: Whoopi Goldberg, Drew Carey, Jim Carrey, Steve Martin, Chevy Chase, Ellen DeGeneres, Jon Stewart.
Every birth order has inherent strengths and challenges, and no birth order is better than another. Of course, many variables contribute to one’s overall personality and success in life. Perhaps, simply knowing these ideas might allow a person to step back and take a different perspective on family dynamics.
Are you frequently engaged in a quest for your car keys? Do you fight with your closet to find what to wear? Is stress your daily companion?