Just Listen

Communicating effectively whether at work or at home can improve your relationships and resolve all types of issues.

Being able to listen attentively through effective body language and eye contact is essential. It is likewise helpful to refer to the other person’s actions rather than to their sense of person. For example, if you use “I” statements rather than “you” statements, you are generally more effective. “I feel concerned. . .” is better than “You are doing that wrong.”

Here are some tips for more effective communication:

1. Listen carefully to what others say and refrain from thinking of your own response instead of listening.

2. Seek to resolve problems without being too emotional in your exchange.

3. Write down how you feel if you are emotionally charged and leave it aside for a few hours. Come back to it and re-evaluate your tone before sending any email or letter out.

4. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes in order to better understand the opposing viewpoint.

5. Be able to lighten up and even laugh at yourself in order to lessen tension.

6. Time your exchanges right. Don’t expect a person to listen when he/she is walking out the door.

7. Say you are sorry if you are: Being able to take responsibility for your errors will actually relieve your own stress.

8. Be kind not only to others, but also to yourself. Celebrate your communication successes!

“Sweet Dreams”

dream symbolsDreams present you with images and feelings. When you dream, you are often finding answers and solutions to the problems that exist in your waking life. Tapping into and understanding this source of wisdom can enhance your understanding of your life issues.

A dream symbol is an image from the unconscious that is important for you to understand in the present. Symbols can have personal associations, and exploring these associations can help you to understand the dream’s message. It is helpful, though, to understand general objective associations of the dream symbol since it may be revealing.

For example, if you dreamed about a blue horse, you may first remember upon waking that your grandmother had a blue horse figurine that sat on her dresser when you were a child. Yet upon looking further into a dream book, you would see that “horse” reflects “travel, power, and freedom.” The color “blue” may be associated with the throat in energy medicine and may symbolize “speaking your truth.” So why did you dream of a blue horse? Perhaps your grandmother herself is significant to you in her role in your childhood, yet it may reflect a need for you to look at your authentic self–your connection to travel, power, freedom, and truth in your life.

Dream symbols and themes are common among people, and even though each dream may have unique meaning for the dreamer, here are a few “simple” dream meanings based on general dream dictionary ideas:

Teeth (losing teeth or falling out): Loose teeth may relate to changes that are coming and this is considered a common theme in adolescence.

House: The house usually symbolizes the psychological or emotional self. What is the condition of the house in the dream?

Being chased: This may mean that you are being pursued by an aspect of yourself–maybe one that another part of you is avoiding.

Attic: Usually symbolizes your mind or thinking.

Bath: Taking a bath in a dream or attempting to do so may indicate a need for “inner cleansing.”

Vehicle: (What type of vehicle—bicycle, car, airplane?) A vehicle reflects our passage or journey through life. What is our method of transportation? The vehicle may indicate the “speed” of the journey.

Fences: Dreams of fences is said to indicate “boundary” issues: either a need for better boundaries or too much rigidity.

Death: Your own death in a dream reflects new beginnings!

Dreams are magical, and analyzing them is a fascinating process. Using on-line resources for dream interpretation or a good dream dictionary can provide you with insight into the meaning of the dreams, and hence, the meaning of your life!

Organized Living

closet organizeAre you frequently engaged in a quest for your car keys? Do you fight with your closet to find what to wear? Is stress your daily companion?

An organized life will allow you to have less chaos, more time, and even better mental health!

Why do we become disorganized? First, the creation of physical chaos is a result that originates with your very thoughts. When you are distracted or overly committed, you are less likely to create or have order. You can clear your mind first or clear your clutter. If you are in doubt, start with clearing your closet! It’s amazing what that simple act can do to calm your mind and your life. And that’s just the beginning. . . .

While you may be attached to your clothes (even those you haven’t worn or those that don’t fit any longer), please know that weight and stuff are simply barriers against a world we think is threatening. When you shed the excess you reconnect with your life.

Here are some simple steps to get started:

Step 1: Choose one clothes closet and take everything out of it. If the closet is a walk-in or large, you can do this in stages.

Step 2: Decide the best and most efficient way to hang or store items (this may require some shelves or added pole).

Step 3: When you are set, add each item back one at a time after you have decided that you will KEEP it. In other words, if it doesn’t fit, isn’t the right color, you have two of them, etc., you need to let it go! There are wonderful charities longing for that piece.

Step 4: Decide on ONE type of hanger. Avoid thin wire hangers that are harder to line up or that get tangled with each other. Choose the same plastic style, preferably a thinner type to maximize space.

Step 5: Hang all blouses, all pants, all dresses, all suits—in the same section. This will help you figure out what you really do have, make it easier to find a particular item, and help you maintain order.

Step 6: Make sure that all items are placed facing the same direction. It’s easier to see the front of an item.

Step 7: Hang all colors together in sections if you prefer that method. It’s easier to color coordinate what you are wearing.

Step 8: Shoes and purses can be lined up in order on shelves by color.

Finally, if the closet is large enough or there is any wall space at all that is visible, hang a small framed reminder, like “I am beautiful!” (you and the closet).

The Power of Action

I once heard a riddle that went something like this: “Five frogs sat on a log. One decided to jump. How many frogs were left?”

I remember thinking through what the logical answer would be (four) but knowing there must be some trick to this. Actually, there wasn’t a trick but instead a revelation.

The answer to the riddle is: Five. There’s a difference between deciding to jump and actually jumping.

Now this leads me to an important point: Power exists in taking action. While it is important to think, plan, and strategize, it is equally important to ACT.

What have you been thinking about for a long time, may even be convinced should happen, but haven’t taken action on? Decide today to do one thing that requires necessary action . . . and move forward!

Emotional Honesty

Emotional honesty is critical in order to have healthy relationships with ourselves and others. We need to become aware of what healthy behavior and acceptable interactions look like.

A first step is to become emotionally honest with ourselves, to own our feelings, and to communicate in a direct and honest manner. Setting personal boundaries is a vital part of healthy relationships–which are not possible without effective communication. It is impossible to have a healthy relationship with someone who cannot communicate directly and honestly.

To get started, we must stop saying statements like: “You make me so angry.” “You hurt me.” “You make me crazy.” “How could you do that to me after all I have done for you?”

What does more effective language look like? We would state our feelings out loud and precede them with the words “I feel. . . .” “I feel concerned when our time together seems distant because. . . .” This allows us to own the feeling.

Whether the other person can hear and understand us is less important than the fact that we hear ourselves. It is so important that we own our own voice and speak up. In turn, we encourage the other person to do the same.

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