The holidays are a wonderful time to celebrate and to connect with family and friends. Yet this is also a time when your balance of body, mind, and spirit can be greatly affected because of changes in routine, extra duties, and feelings triggered by old memories.
Here are a few suggestions toward keeping your life together this holiday season:
Stay organized. Write down things you’d like to accomplish and then create a prioritized approach. Would you like to give neighbors homemade baked gingerbread? Of course you would. Is there really time to do this in your schedule this year? Just be sure you have enough time or are simply realistic in regard to your energy as well.
Ask for help. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by certain tasks that have to be performed, be sure to ask others to pitch in. For example, holiday meals can be pot luck. Young children can help by doing activities that are easier, like dusting, vacuuming, or helping with a pet. You can ask a neighborhood teen babysitter to take your kids to a matinee so that you can complete certain holiday preparations.
De-emphasize perfection. Set realistic expectations for yourself. We are bombarded by magazine images showing gorgeous decorations and incredible meals. Remind yourself that a staff of people both designed and prepared those glossy stories! Sometimes “more is less” and simple ideas can be very heart-felt, even more heart-felt than elaborate ideas.
Stay connected. Take a break from your holiday routine by meeting up with or calling a friend to chat briefly. Letting out your feelings to a supportive friend can greatly help you relieve holiday stress and anxiety. This can be great for both of you. Also, if you are feeling lonely or suspect that you will be, set up a way to stay connected and supported.
Restore yourself. Don’t leave off your list a healthy walk or simple exercise or a nice healthy meal. Even a moment or two of quiet can be helpful–listen to a meditation tape or a favorite CD, practice yoga poses, or take a relaxing bath.
Let it Go. Hold a witness perspective if an issue arises. It helps if you remind yourself that the things you were concerned about last year, the year before, or the years before that, are faint or nonexistent memories. So take a deep breath, fast-forward to your 85th birthday, and ask yourself, “Will I even remember this issue then?” Probably not. So enjoy the good things and let go of the rest!
When the desire to eat becomes overwhelming, you can overcome emotional eating by staying conscious of your choices.
OPTIONS:
1. Talk to yourself. Tell yourself, “This feeling will pass whether I eat or not.” The discomfort will not last forever.
2. Take time out. For ten minutes, resist the urge to eat and ask yourself what is going on. Allow yourself to feel your feelings and even to write about them.
3. Call someone. A brief phone call to a friend or relative may provide the emotional connection that you need.
4. Create a list of alternative activities and post it on your refrigerator. When the eating mood strikes, refer to your list.
5. Plan to have healthy snacks available, already prepared. Remember to choose what you eat consciously and remain in control of your choices.
6. Feed your heart. How are you doing? Indulge in a massage, a walk in nature, a group event, or some other satisfying way to stay in touch with your heart and to celebrate yourself!
Emotional honesty is critical in order to have healthy relationships with ourselves and others. We need to become aware of what healthy behavior and acceptable interactions look like.
A first step is to become emotionally honest with ourselves, to own our feelings, and to communicate in a direct and honest manner. Setting personal boundaries is a vital part of healthy relationships–which are not possible without effective communication. It is impossible to have a healthy relationship with someone who cannot communicate directly and honestly.
To get started, we must stop saying statements like: “You make me so angry.” “You hurt me.” “You make me crazy.” “How could you do that to me after all I have done for you?”
What does more effective language look like? We would state our feelings out loud and precede them with the words “I feel. . . .” “I feel concerned when our time together seems distant because. . . .” This allows us to own the feeling.
Whether the other person can hear and understand us is less important than the fact that we hear ourselves. It is so important that we own our own voice and speak up. In turn, we encourage the other person to do the same.
Often, we suffer because we have roamed so far from our true core that we don’t know who we are. We haven’t looked into our own vulnerable hearts. What do you need? What does your heart wish to tell you?
We may run from our inner awareness because we feel that if we actually gave attention to our hearts, we would be overwhelmed.
Our perceptions are what make our life sacred or monstrous. These perceptions create our point of view about who we are, who other people are, and about life itself. We engage in our life dramas every day and are partnered with other cast members to share life’s lessons. Our issues and fears cause us to protect our real needs and even to negotiate away our power.
We may respond to life by making adjustments that cause us to cut off essential parts of ourselves to stay present with people and situations. We may deny our emotions because we’re afraid our partner will leave us. We may do work that does not inspire us because it keeps us feeling secure.
We decide how we think the world is and create a list of judgments about ourselves and others. The items on our list feel very real even though we don’t always check out the validity of them. We assume that we have to accept something because “that’s the way it is or it has always been that way.”
Here’s the key: Your freedom lies in challenging your beliefs, in removing any mask that keeps you from being your real “you,” and in waking up from the trance you have been living in.
Laughter is good for your health. When you hear laughter, travel toward it. Spend time with fun, playful people. Be able to laugh at yourself and life’s absurdities by finding humor in everyday events.
Here are several benefits of laughter:
Increases our DHEA levels (anti-cancer fighting).
Relaxes the whole body and relieves physical tension and stress, leaving your muscles relaxed for up to 45 minutes after.
Boosts the immune system and decreases stress hormones and increases immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies, thus improving your resistance to disease.
Triggers the release of endorphins, the body’s natural fee-good chemicals and promotes an overall sense of well-being that can even relieve pain.
Protects the heart by improving the function of blood vessels and increasing blood flow.
Laughter can dissolve distressing emotions. You can’t feel anxious or sad when you’re laughing. It can help you recharge and shift your perspective into a less threatening light. Remember your thoughts become things.
The holidays are a wonderful time to celebrate and to connect with family and friends. Yet this is also a time when your balance of body, mind, and spirit can be greatly affected because of changes in routine, extra duties, and feelings triggered by old memories.