Families gather over the holidays, and even the most “healthy” families can have difficulty trying to balance getting along with each other and not feeling stressed by expectations.
A few suggestions may go a long way in helping you create a happy holiday:
- Don’t strive to be perfect or have a “perfect” holiday. While you can plan and prepare that special dinner and event, allow things to flow and don’t worry so much about controlling outcomes. Not everyone is going to live up to your expectations (probably not even yourself), so let go of those expectations for perfection. Remember “all is well” in the greater scheme of life.
- Reach out to others. If you feel lonely or isolated, seek out people and events that can support you. Or volunteer to help someone else or an organization. This can be a good way to lift your own spirit while you are helpful to another.
- Practice healthy boundaries. Be sure you are saying “yes” to what you really want to do. Many requests can come during a holiday, so be selective and don’t overload yourself and your schedule. Commit to what you know makes sense and keep those commitments.
- Manage your time. Keep a notepad in a designated place to schedule errands, items needed, etc. This will be the “go to place” for new thoughts and ideas that come up.
- Don’t abandon healthy habits. Be sure you are taking good care of yourself, whether it’s continuing to exercise, meditate for 10 minutes a day, or whatever helps you stay grounded. Even though many more delectable delights are available, you can still eat in moderation or make a different choice one day over another. Let go of guilt and know that you may eat a little more home-made sweets if that is your tradition. You will get back on track through intention.
- Allow yourself to trust your feelings. If something has occurred (loss of a loved one, divorce, illness) that has made you sad, it is normal to feel and to express your feelings. You can’t make yourself happy just because it’s the”season to be jolly.”
- Be love. I like to think of the holidays as a special time to be kind and loving to all people you meet on your path, whether it’s the person at the grocery store in front of you in the long line, or the one who takes the last item you really wanted in the bin at the department store. Know that “things” are just things and that how you are being is what counts in the greater scheme of life.
Happy Holidays!